4th May, 2005

Final Fantasy X

Wednesday, 5:47 pm in Archive

For the record, Final Fantasy X is the worst FF game I’ve ever played. (Out of 3/6, 7, 8, TA and CC.)

Yeah, I always said it was shit; now I know.

The system is frustrating, the story is innane and predictable, the characters are annoying and unlikable and the game is so full of it’s own cleverness at its graphics that they might as well just have admitted it to themselves and made it a proper movie like Advent Children. The final straw was when it wouldn’t let me run back along the Djose Highroad to get something I’d forgotten because I’d passed it’s stupid little cutscene. So first you take out the worldmap, and then you totally remove whatever little choice we had left? The game is so painfully linear it’s like they didn’t even try. I mean, all FFs are pretty linear compared to – say – any western RPG made ever, but at least in the old ones you got the option to run around aimlessly on the World Map levelling up.

Also, could Seymour be any more obviously evil? And what the fuck is with Tidus’ crappy Wonder Years narration and Auron talking like Beetlejuice? Not to mention that the voice acting is so patchy that half the time the characters don’t even sound like themselves (qv. Tidus narration voice compared to his regular voice, or Auron’s regular voice compared to his battle quips voice).

Also, Blitzball? Worst minigame idea ever. If I’d wanted to play Fifa Soccer I would have bought Fifa Soccer, not FFX. Yeah, you guys hosted the World Cup; congratu-fucking-lations. And the way it’s ‘integrated’ into the ‘plot’ is so gratingly painful it’s, well, painful.

Yeah… I think I’m pretty goddamn over Final Fantasy. It’s like after they made 7 they just stopped trying to make good games and thought, “Hur hur let’s just fool them with our ritzy graphics!” Except now the west has caught up, and it just isn’t cool anymore. Sorry Square, you lose; especially after the disaster that is FFXI. XII better be something goddam godly, that’s for sure.

In other news, whee! It’s finally out in Region 4!

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